What? I’ll bet you never heard anyone make that claim before. But hear me out, as I make my case.
My understanding of Gender Dysphoria
The basic dilemma is that some people’s physical sex is male, while their mental make-up (gender) is female. Most transgenders will state that they have always been that way; there was no conscious choice to become transgender. They feel hard-wired as females. You often hear them state that they are a female trapped in a male body. They have always felt the disconnect between their gender identity and the expectations society placed on them to act ‘male’, meaning hard, assertive, tough, aggressive, competitive, etc. They felt that, in trying to act ‘male’, they were not behaving as their true self, i.e. feminine. If you read accounts of transgenders who ‘came out’, they are almost always very positive and happy, with no regrets, since they have resolved the conflict between their sex and their gender.
Toxic Masculinity
Jan. 6 rioters
The uber-male, in my observation and analysis, also feels the disconnect between his male sex – especially society’s expectations of male behavior – and his feminine side. Unlike the transgender, he tries to hide those feminine traits and to pretend to adhere to society’s expectations – in spades! He adopts an image of being super-tough, super-aggressive. It’s a Wizard of Oz situation: behind the pompous wizard is a little old man.
The Wizard of Oz – all smoke and mirrors.
Dressing up in tough-guy military garb is the gender-dysphoric equivalent of transvestitism. The tough guy dresses up to convince himself and others that he is a real man, while the transvestite dresses up to reconcile their physical and mental identities.
I always felt that the Jan. 6 rioters were especially pathetic. All dressed up in their cosplay military gear, trying to show how tough they were. I have read accounts of prostitutes who describe these guys as some of the mousiest, wimpiest pipsqueaks they have met. All because the macho guys feel that at their core is a feminine psyche that is somehow not man enough.
My claim is that both the transgender and the toxic male experience the same mismatch between their sexual bodies and their innate personalities. The transgender ends by adapting their physical body – through Hormone Replacement or surgery – to their mental identity. The uber-male tries to transform their mental make-up to their physical sex, or at least, to make their behavior conform to the expectations of society.
Why do uber-males hate transgenders to the point of wanting to kill them? I think it’s because they realize that transgenders can see through their macho mask to their more feminine self. Transgenders remind them of their own gender dysphoria. I think this fear of being found out also applies to spouse abuse, as the wife eventually sees through the tough-guy mask to the weak little boy inside. The most devastating remark a woman can say to a man is “You’re not a real man.”
You can guess that I tend to sympathize with the transgenders. They are aiming at integrity – living their true self by reconciling their physical and mental components. The uber-mensch, on the other hand, is hiding his true self from himself and from the world. When I see his constantly angry face, I think he is essentially unhappy.